Today was a new day. If you read yesterday’s blog you know that I had a temporary meltdown. I think that’s par for the course, that everyone has days like that. I was tired, hungry, and spent the day trying to look busy. So the follow-up of a dead battery and a car that wouldn’t start pushed me over the edge. I’m pretty sure everyone has days like this every once in a while.
Today was a much different kind of day and it’s the reason I can tell that all of the hard work I’ve been doing over the years is working. Rewind back just 7 years and this type of incident might have set off days or weeks of feeling down. For me that usually looks just fine, maybe slightly frazzled or a little tired at work. I would hold it in and put on a happy face for my professional colleagues and then I would drive straight home to crash. I would watch tv, read a book, or just sleep. I would definitely eat like crap and isolate myself.
Today it’s a different story. This morning I knew that I was going to wake up feeling junky. That’s expected after a day like yesterday. Especially since I replayed the incident over and over in my head over night instead of getting a good night’s rest. But, I’ve been here before, and I know what to expect. So this morning my alarm went off and I angrily jumped out of bed to silence it. I got straight into the shower, then turned on all of the lights, turned on some music and made coffee. I took the time to sit in my sunroom to meditate this morning. I listened to the crickets chirp, the jets flying over head and the birds. I took the time to center myself for the day.
When I got to work I wrote down my Core Desired Feelings. If you’ve never heard of Danielle Laporte and her Core Desired Feelings, you’re missing out. The very, very basic of it is to identify not what you want to do, but how you want to feel. I put “supported, connected, joy, freedom.” I took the time to seek out friendly faces, to smile and chat for a moment. And as the morning went on I started to feel very good. This afternoon I texted my friend to go for a walk around the track. We did 2 miles, talked, and then did some random plyometric moves and had a good laugh about it.
When I got home I decided to take this thing all the way, so I made dinner on an actual plate (courtesy of my in-laws) and set the table for myself. I ate looking out the window at my front yard and listened to the crickets chirp again.
This wasn’t easy. It took a lot of work to continue to take actions to make myself feel better and dig myself out of the hole. But it was worth it. Tomorrow I know I’m going to wake up in a better mood and hopefully I can enjoy my weekend instead of curling up in my jammies.
Now that I’ve adulted all day I’m going to search for last night’s Criminal Minds episode, and hit the sack early.